The year(s) in EXILE

This year has been rough for the world. And I don’t know how long this will go on. I can only hope that things will get better next year. Despite whatever that is going on, I think I am doing ok. There were sad and traumatizing events that happened but as time passes by, I felt better.

The artwork currently in my dining area.

Painted in 2019.

I have not been painting for quite some time as I have been trying to treat my sleeping issues and busy all year round even during the pandemic. But a few days ago, I decided to paint something. Anything.

Another of my abstract artwork .

Painted in 2019.

Let’s just say recently I desperately wanted to be away from people. Yes I know it’s the pandemic and we are basically practicing social-distancing and all but with tech these days, we can still keep in touch. Hence, I decided to go on a digital detox and I will not go on social media and won’t answer whoever tried to contact me (other than close people). Looking at any screen for about a minute would give a mild headache which goes into a full blown migraine. It subsided after a few days.

So why Exile?

I just felt like painting line abstracts and not wanting to paint anything that requires huge amount of stroke control. Basically it’s the emotions when I made these paintings but these emotions doesn’t necessary be all negative, but all have the same kind of outcome. I wanted to be alone.

I placed the artwork in my living room just because it somehow fits the interior layout

I actually felt quite alone with my feelings. I felt no one really understands. And they don’t need to. But I wanted to be alone so I can process how I feel (like a true introvert) and just analyze my emotions. Sometimes painting helps me with that.

I basically just wanted to re-charge. But sometimes, I really wanted a long re-charge session. Ok not a session, more like 2 weeks of being non-existent or something. NOT POSSIBLE lol. And probably do some intense amount of journaling :P

Above: Painted in 2019.

Painted couple of days ago. October 2020

Couple of days ago, I spontaneously brought out an old painting which was unfinished and left idle for 15 years and decided to paint over it. I didn't really thought much and just paint whatever I felt like it. During this time, I have been feeling pretty low for the past few weeks. And I ended up painting the above. Then I see a pattern. This is the forth piece with similar style with the other 3 which I painted last year. I don't know if it's to do with the sub-conscious or anything like that, but I tend to go towards this type of style when I am stressed or maybe just to wind down after a good productive day. Perhaps this time, the color palate of my room influences the colors I put into this piece. Something bright to light up my mood :)

For those who felt tired of it all, I wish that you can find a time and the way to get away from it all for awhile even in this time of the pandemic, to understand your ever confusing emotions and find it in yourself to take the next step to recovery whatever it is. Sharing it with someone actually helps.

The combination of the 3 paintings I did before the fourth one came along.

Pretty similar pattern.

Combination of all 4 projects.